The pain is real

One common misconception –

Being present doesn’t mean you feel great all day, every day.

It’s true that I feel better than I ever have. It’s also true that I let all the pain in more than I ever have, whenever it shows up.

And there’s no shortage of it in poker.

Amidst a week of coaching clients this week, I played two NL sessions.

The first one?

+4k.

I ran great and played until the room closed. I even played a guy heads up at the end for a while until he quit. The whole time I was ready to win more and more, and was happy with pretty much every decision I made that day. I was feeling great, and looking forward to another session.

The second one?

-2,300.

I was again confident with most of my decisions, but the deck just wasn’t in my favor. I was certainly not happy at the end. My whole body was feeling hot while I was walking out of the casino. A bunch of thoughts would come and go, until I realized what was going on and brought myself back to being present over and over again.

I went straight home, had some food, and went to sleep.

The next day, I was a little slow getting out of bed, but soon made it to the gym and grocery store, and had a productive day.

It hurt, I felt it, and it passed – then it was back to life as usual.

No weed, no binge eating, no endless thoughts about big hands I lost.

Nothing like it would have been a few years ago.

I didn’t like it.

I would have preferred it didn’t happen.

But it was no big deal really.

Just some intensified thoughts and feelings to experience fully for a little while.

Then it was back to life as usual.

A little discomfort for a whole lot of ease on the other side. The pain was real, and the suffering was optional.

That’s how I’ve learned to do it, and will continue doing it for the rest of my life.

If that sounds like something you’re interested in, hit me up here: