Dumb and dumber

Sometimes we do really dumb stuff.

Why do we label it dumb?

Because in those moments, we were really ineffective at getting what we wanted. Our general aim in life was going towards one thing, but we went off in a completely different direction. Afterwards, we call it dumb, a mistake, self-sabotage, or whatever else.

Then we tell ourselves to stop doing it.

Then we eventually just do it again.

When we’re aiming at where to go next, we can do it in one of two ways.

1. Be really clear about what we want, and where we want to go.
2. Go anywhere but here.

When we’re present and accepting of everything that’s happening, we tend to choose number 1.

When something is bothering us, we start choosing number 2.

Maybe it was a big hand that we lost, maybe we got in a fight with someone, or maybe things were actually going so well that we couldn’t hold it anymore.

Whatever it is, there will always be one common thread.

I don’t like how I’m feeling, and it’s currently a problem that I’m feeling this way.

When that’s the case, we just try to get rid of the feeling as fast as we can. Our aim is “anywhere but here”. Sometimes we’re lucky and end up making decisions that land us in a pretty decent spot.

But not always.

And it’s those times that our aim is way off that hurt the most.

Buyins disappear.

Relationships explode.

Things happen that we can’t take back.

When that happens, it feels like we took 10 giant steps in the wrong direction.

It sucks, but it happens.

If you actually want to eliminate all those behaviors? Then you actually only have to play one game. You have to keep your aim in the same spot always, while continuously accepting how you feel, without any need for it to go away.

Sometimes you have to stay in the pain while it sticks around.

But when the decision is between feeling the pain, or doing something really dumb that sets your life back, I think pretty much everyone would pick the pain.

The only trick is you have to be able to catch it in the moment that it’s happening.

Otherwise hindsight is 20/20.

But hindsight doesn’t get the money back.

It’s not terribly difficult, it’s just that no one showed you how to do it.

If you want to learn how, hit me up here: