I’M NOT COMPLAINING

I was playing some live PLO –

A game that’s usually known for its gamble-y, tilt-prone players, and big pots.

This day didn’t disappoint. 

It started with a little disagreement from a player – we’ll call him “George”. George was arguing about a hand. Nothing too dramatic, but enough for the dealer to call the floorman over to sort it out. Everything seemed fine, until the other guy started a sentence with –

“George was complaining…”

Blast off.

“I WAS NOT COMPLAINING”.

From that moment on, the whole conversation was derailed, and George’s new objective was making sure that everyone in the general area knew he was not complaining.

Nothing else mattered to him anymore.

Even after the floorman made their ruling, George walked over to them and couldn’t let it go. From what few words I could overhear, I could make out “I’m not a complainer. I wasn’t complaining.”

No talk about the ruling, or what was right.

Just a desperate 60-year old man trying to clear his name.

Eventually he sat back down, and started being WAY too nice to everyone around it. That creepy kind of nice where you know something is boiling inside him, but he’s doing everything he can not to let it show.

2 hours, and 4 buy-ins later, George was walking out the door.

I don’t know how old George was when he was taught to never complain in life, but apparently upholding that identity was more important than the thousands of dollars in his wallet.

With no means to deal with the blast of emotion inside him, his fate was sealed that night.

He played some horrific poker, even by live PLO standards.

And to everyone except George, it was painfully obvious what was going on.

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Most people start a session with a clear head. 

Your priorities are straight, and playing fairly well is the norm.

Then some stuff happens.

Maybe your insides don’t erupt the moment someone accuses you of complaining, but everyone’s got a little something that makes them tick.

You’ll still be sitting in the same chair, playing the same game, with the same people.

But, unbeknownst to you, your priorities shifted.

And now you have a problem.

Playing well and enjoying yourself is out the window.

For some people, the priority becomes to get unstuck. Others start to get a lot more passive and try to minimize any bigger losses. And some people just rack up and leave, often finding some other means to numb and distract themselves for the rest of the day.

What do all those things have in common?

“Make this stop. Get me out of here”

Except, “here” is just your internal world at that moment.

And when you can’t be “here”, you sure as hell aren’t as effective at playing well and making good decisions as you were when you first sat down.

The good news is that all of these have the same solution.

Learn to be “here”.

Learn to be present with everything going on internally, all the time, without any need for it to go away.

The good, the bad and the ugly.

Does this sound like something you might be interested in?

If so, just hit me up here and let’s talk: